Adventures of Beautifulfur (and her kits, too) Commentary
by Lightning and Moon
Summary: Trollfic commentary by Jade and Cynthia. Creds go to the Author, Mistysplash. Go check her out. :) (If you're wondering, We did ask the authors if we could use their stories)
1. Empty Nests

**This story is based off of that other horrid story called **_**Beautiful Sparkle**_**. Why? Because I thought it would be fun to make a parody about it.**

**Cynthia: Okay. We'll see.  
Jade: OOOOH *rubs hands together* Can't wait. **

It was a chilly day, and the leaves were falling from the trees, because it was obviously leaffall.

**Cynthia: Thank you, Doctor Obvious.  
Jade: *nods* Jadey likey so far**

Across the clearing, there was a rocky den. Three kits poked their heads out of the entrance.

The first kit, who was jet-black cried, "Brrr! It's cold!"

Her sister, Russetkit, snapped, "Of course it's cold! Are you stupid, or something?"

**Cynthia: Wow. Short temper.  
Jade: Sounds like me.**

The third kit purred, "Hey why don't we go to the elder's den! They always know how to tell a great story or two!"

The black kit and Russetkit looked at her.

Russetkit replied, "Sure!"

So the three kits dashed to the elder's den. As they ran, they nearly tripped a warrior.

"Hey, watch it!"

The third kit hollered, "Sorry!" as she continued to run. At last, the trio had arrived at the elder's den. They strolled into the shady den.

Two cats, a white tom and a pink she-cat were lying there quietly. The white tom glanced at the three kits and laughed, "Hey there kits! How are you doing?"

The trio of kittens replied in unison, "Good!"

The black kit, Hollykit said, "Cometmagic, can you tell us a story?"

**Cynthia: Of course. Cometmagic. What kind of name is that?  
Jade: MAAAGICC **

"Of course! Which one do you want to hear?"

The pink she-cat wheezed, "Tell em' about Beautifulsparkle! That's always a good one!"

**Cynthia: Pink? Which pink cat?  
Jade: Who? Who's the pink cat?**

Cometmagic pointed his tail at some empty moss nests.

**Cynthia: Whose were they?  
Jade: Yeah..?**

"Sit down, and make yourself comfortable."

The kits darted to the nests, and sat down.

Russetkit said, "These are some nice moss nests!"

Cometmagic replied, "Thanks."

**Cynthia: You shouldn't say that. The warriors and apprentices get it for you, and you take all the credit? Shove off.  
****Jade: Uh HUh GO ON, I WANT TO HEAR THE STORY**  
He continued, "This is the story of Beautifulsparkle and her kits' lives."

**Cynthia: Oh...darn. Here we go.  
Jade: *claps enthusiastically.* **

* * *

**To be continued. Obviously. (I know, it's short...)**

**Cynthia: mmhmm.  
Jade: Awww i hate cliffies**

**P.S, Read and Review. (Totally optional.)**

**Cynthia: Sure, why not?  
Jade: ****Sure!**


	2. Laziness Level 1000

Beautifulpaw was lying on a flat, smooth rock. She loved how the sun warmed up her gorgeous white fur.

**Cynthia: Show-off.  
Jade: *Lies on bed, Showing my fat belly* **

"This is the best day I've had so far," Beautifulpaw thought.

She hadn't done a lot of work today, other than patrolling half of the border, and catching two mice, and had eaten one of them. So far, it had been a moon since she had been made an apprentice.

**Cynthia: Wow. You lazy butthole.  
Jade: *yawns* I'm tired**

She continued to be sprawled out on the flat warm, rocks, until a green tom seemed to have popped out from the middle of nowhere.

**Cynthia: Dude..that's _creepy.  
_Jade: *screams* ARGH! STALKER!**

He prodded her on the shoulder, and said, "Beautifulpaw! Wintersnow needs you! Skyrock is giving birth!"

Beautifulpaw lifted her head up, and glared at him.

"Isn't that, like, Starpaw's job or something?"

"Starpaw had to go to the Medicine Cat's Convention! You'll have to do it!"

**Cynthia: _Medicine Cat's Convention?_ Like the Virginia Convention? ...  
Jade: THERES ANOTHER STARPAW?! *runs away***

Beautifulpaw groaned as she trudged to the nursery. There, as Martianpaw had said, was Skyrock giving birth.

**Cynthia: And eventually Skyrock turned into a rock, which became Skyclan's meeting rock.  
Jade: Skyrock? **

A Siamese with curly fur was tending to her. It turned around and purred, "Finally, you're here, Beautifulpaw. The kit's almost out. When it does come out, I need you to nip the sac, and push it towards its mother."

**Cynthia: Dude, Siamese cats are crossbreeds.  
Jade: Curly furred cat. Cool**

Wintersnow exclaimed, "One more push, Skyrock! The kits' almost out!"

The stick Skyrock had been crunching on finally snapped in half, and three kits popped out. Beautifulpaw nipped the sacs, and pushed them towards their mother.

Wintersnow and Skyrock looked at the kits with joy. Beautifulpaw, however, had a much sadder look on her face.

One of the kits was a dark, sickly, green, the other one was gray, and the last one was brown and white.

**Cynthia: "sickly green" is another way to put it.  
Jade: okaay**

"Two she-cats and a tom," Wintersnow purred.

"Huh," Beautifulpaw said sadly.

**Cynthia: Huh?  
Jade: Why sadly?**

Skyrock pointed her tail at the green one.

"This one should be Zombiekit. She's green and dark like one, and Rareglimmer's always wanted a kit named after a monster."

**Cynthia: Since no one's pointing out that it's not racist, I'm just going to go ahead and call it racist.  
Jade: Zombies. *shudders***

Beautifulpaw pointed her tail at the gray kit.

"She-she should be called Rainkit… her pelt is gray, and that was my-my… sister's name."

Wintersnow groaned, "Beautifulpaw, you're still not sad about your sister's death, are you?"

**Cynthia: COURSE SHE IS WINTERSNOW! YOU'RE SUCH A DICKHEAD!  
Jade: WELL I WOULD TOO!**

"NO," she screeched.

**Cynthia: Whoa. Easy.  
Jade: CHILLLL**

A Siamese tom and a white kit with strange dark grey eyes walked into the nursery.

The Siamese tom purred, "Skyrock, our kits are beautiful. What are their names?"

Skyrock replied, "The green kit's name is Zombiekit, and the gray kit's name is Rainkit. We haven't named the brown and white one yet."

The older kit said, "How about Deerkit?"

"That's a great name, Cometkit," Wintersnow answered.

"Thanks!"

Skyrock hissed, "Now get outta here! I need to rest you know!"

**Cynthia: The grumpiest Queen Award goes to...SKYROCK.  
Jade: YEAH! SHE JUST KITTED! **

The four cats stormed out of the den.

**Cynthia: LMAO  
Jade**

* * *

**Please review! (Again, your choice, but it's reccomended.)**

**Cynthia: lel.  
Jade: OKAAAI**


	3. Rusty Cheeks

**Big thanks to Canadia0 for reviewing!**

***hands out a Martianpaw plushie***

**Cynthia: Yay! Do I get one too?  
Jade: I WANNIT AS WELL! **

* * *

Beautifulpaw and Cometpaw, now an apprentice, had gone on a walk, and became friends on that very day.

**Cynthia: I can sense something..going on.  
Jade: Someone's going to die. **

Later on, Beautifulpaw was bringing a plump water vole to the fresh-kill pile. As she dropped it onto the pile of prey, Redpaw and Greenpaw approached her.

Also known as the "Christmas Toms", these two were a very humorous pair of friends, and Greenpaw usually acted like the ladies' man.

"Hey Beautifulpaw," Greenpaw said slyly.

**Cynthia: Slyly. lel.  
Jade: "Hello." Said Jade Slyly *grins evilly***

"Hi," Beautifulpaw meowed. She blushed.

Redpaw cried out, "Your cheeks look like rust! Are you OK?"

This caused Beautifulpaw to blush even further.

"I'm fine Redpaw, don't worry," she giggled.

**Cynthia: Um...no she's not? This lady is high.  
Jade: *snickers***

Two fox-lengths off, Beautifulpaw's ex-BFF, Princesspaw, was glaring at the situation angrily. Princesspaw had a crush on Redpaw, and she didn't want Beautifulpaw standing in her way.

Finally, Princesspaw snapped, and she lunged at Beautifulpaw. The two apprentices became a flying whirlwind of screeches and claws. Princesspaw pinned Beautifulpaw to the ground.

Princesspaw sneered, "Give up, furball?"

Beautifulpaw yowled, "Never!"

She kicked her off. As Princesspaw was hurling across the clearing, Beautifulpaw ran to her and gave a swift kick. This sent Princesspaw flying into the air. Beautifulpaw leaped into the air and beat the dirt out of Princesspaw several more times before shooting turquoise water out of her paws.

At last, Princesspaw fell to the ground, soaking wet, covered in soil, and humiliated. Most of the Clan had watched, and they were now sitting there, staring at the two she-cats with shock.

At last, Cometpaw padded up to Beautifulpaw, and purred, "That was nice."

**Cynthia: What.  
Jade: YEAH! BEAT THE DIRT OUTTA HER! **

"Thanks."

Starpaw grabbed Princesspaw, and dragged her to the medicine cat's den. The Clan went back to their business.

**Cynthia: So none of the warriors stopped them? Man, this clan is filled with morons.  
Jade: Wow**

* * *

**Yes, I know that the fight was pretty... weird. But this was based off of _Beautiful_ _Sparkle_, so...**

**Cynthia: ;)  
Jade: *nods* Its alright, It was pretty damn cool**

**R&R (Optional.)**

**Cynthia: oKay.  
Jade: * in a girly voice* KAAAY KAAAY**


	4. Evil Stepmothers

**Warning: May contain a bit of foul words.**

**Cynthia: K.  
Jade: Awesome**

**Sorry I haven't been on in a while. Life's kept me too busy.**

**Cynthia: Same.  
Jade: *nods* Life is unfair**

* * *

Many moons had passed since that scrap.

**Cynthia: Did you mean crap?  
Jade: Scrap. **

Beams of moonlight were gently streaming through the canopy of green-leaved trees. Beautifulpaw was in this lovely setting in the forest, scouting for some prey. She sniffed the air daintily, as if she was too good for it. Tasting the scent of a plump mouse close by, she slowly headed in its direction. After spotting the mouse, Beautifulpaw pounced on it before it had any time to react.

After burying her prey, Beautifulpaw sniffed the air again, but caught a rather interesting scent; her stepmother's. Driven by curiosity, she followed the scent trail. As she continued following the scent, she became more concerned of her stepmother's whereabouts, as the trail was going deeper into the forest, almost to the point where the pine trees would appear, which lead to the next Clan's territory.

**Cynthia: Her stepmother's? She has never been mentioned before.  
Jade: Who's her stepmother?**

Beautifulpaw skidded to a halt at the outer rim of a clearing. She had found her stepmother.

**Cynthia: Surprise surprise.  
Jade: *Gasps* NO WAY!**

Beautifulpaw thought, "Why is she talking to those cats?"

Wanting to get a better view, she climbed up the nearest tree.

Her stepmother drew some shapes on the dusty ground.

"That will be the mountains. This is the forest."

She drew another line and some more shapes. "That will be their camp."

A golden brown tabby tom asked, "Wait, wouldn't EvilClan notice their scen-"

**Cynthia: Evilclan sounds like the threat that's supposed to be the threat instead of these cats.  
Jade: Which clan is Evilclan again? **

Beautifulpaw's stepmother, Perfectpelt, hissed, "No, you idiot, they won't! Even if they did, they wouldn't bother at all because it's outside the border!" She wacked him on the head.

"OW!" the tabby shrieked.

"Shut up Goldenfur. You'll get us caught," snarled a black tom.

**Cynthia: You should actually tell them both to shut up. Oh wait, is she the leader?  
Jade: Good job whacking his head. *claps***

"Right, moving on," Perfectpelt said, "This line will be the route to their camp."

Her tail pointing at a dark ginger tabby, she said, "Redflight, you'll be the one carrying the messages to and fro, as you're the fastest."

**Cynthia: Sheet.  
Jade: No wonder he's called RedFLIGHT. **

The black tom inquired, "Exactly when do we attack?"

"When they know enough about this place like the back of their paw. I'll partake in coming up with where to attack. You guys… well, just help out the battle groups."

"And when we win, the place will be all ours," Goldenfur whispered excitedly.

"Remember that we'll have to share it with the mountain cats. Technically, they would've helped out as well," the black tom replied.

Perfectpelt stretched her muscles. "Right, I think that's enough for tonight. See you guys at the next quarter moon."

She sauntered off, her tail high in the air. The other cats padded away, heading back into their territories.

Beautifulpaw, for some reason, fell out of the tree.

"Ouch…" she muttered to herself.

"_Oh goodness, the Clans are in danger,_" she thought, "_Hmm… If I catch them… maybe I could get something out of it…"_

**Cynthia: The CLANS? They only mentioned Evilclan! Honestly, you have bad hearing!  
Jade: I only heard Evilclan. **

Beautifulpaw smirked.

**Cynthia: Wow.  
Jade: *slow claps&**

* * *

"Can't believe it…"

"Oh goodness, how could this have happened?"

"Found him by a fox den…"

"And all of this just now…"

Beautifulpaw woke up to this very commotion.

Poking her head out of the den, she asked, "What's going on?"

A white tom named Rabbitleap cried, "The deputy's dead!"

"Perfectpelt found his body! She said he'd been murdered by a fox!"

"_Perfectpelt… Of course! She must've bumped into him on the way back, and murdered him to keep his muzzle shut_," Beautifulpaw thought.

**Cynthia: And I thought you were completely stupid!  
JadeL *Gasps* OH NO! **

"All cats old enough to walk join beneath the Rock of Awesomeness," Neptunestar shouted.

**Cynthia: sigh  
Jade: *snickers***

Like most cases, the cats were already there.

**Cynthia: LOL  
Jade: HAHA**

"Everyone has heard of Pineappleleaf's death today. It is a saddening thing, considering how tailored he was to be a deputy, if not leader. So I say these words before StarClan that the spirit of Pineappleleaf may hear and approve of my choice. The new deputy of SparkleClan is Kraftstorm," Neptunestar announced.

**Cynthia: Sparkleclan reminds me of Twilight, and it is not the right thing to remind me of.  
Jade: Pineapple? *gasps* SPONGEBOB! **

A cat said, "Wait, aren't we supposed to wait until moonhigh to appoint a-"

Neputnestar yowled, "SHUT UP THE HELL UP FOXWHISKER! I CAN APPOINT A DEPUTY WHENEVER I GOD DAMN PLEASE!"

**Cynthia: Whoa Neptunestar calm the frick down. And please, don't your cats know the warrior code? It's BEFORE Moonhigh, but it doesn't need to be exactly at Moonhigh. Idiot.  
Jade: OMG HE IS EXACTLY LIKE ME! I LOVE HIM! **

No one questioned him after that.

"Right, we will hold vigil for Pineappleleaf later."

Fuzzyleap and Hazelstalker carried his body into the camp, and left him there.

**Cynthia: Wow.  
Jade: Hazelstalker. Beautiful name *No sarcasm* **

* * *

Beautifulpaw went into Neptunestar's den.

He was sitting there, his tail curled around his paws.

"What is your business here in my den today?"

**Cynthia: Today? She's been in here before?  
Jade: Huh? **

As Beautifulpaw settled down, she replied, "I have urgent news. I think that my stepmother's plotting something. Bad."

"Yea, could you remind me who your stepmother is again? I really don't keep track of indirect family relations," Neptunestar replied nonchalantly.

**Cynthia: Idiot.  
Jade: HAHA IKR! **

Beautifulpaw gave him a weird look, before answering, "Perfectpelt."

Neptunestar said, "I really don't see where we're getting this accusation from, nor do I see why I should believe an apprentice. If you could just give me some evidence that would be terrific."

"I saw her, late last night talking with three other cats about allying with those cats in the mountains! By chance, did the deputy disappear from the camp at night?"

"Now that I think about it, yes."

"Well, why didn't you ask Wintersnow to do some DNA sampling from him?! His body is still there!"

**Cynthia: DNA sampling? You're cats, not scientists!  
Jade: Whoa. That is so cool! **

"That's right… Never thought about it. Then again, how was I supposed to know that Wintersnow had such technology? And how come she didn't use it earlier?!"

"She got the new shipment just now."

**Cynthia: Shipment? wt.  
Jade: HUH? **

"Ok. I've got to talk to her."

Neptunestar sauntered out of the den, with Beautifulpaw looking at him as he left.

**Cynthia: ...  
Jade: Okaaay...?**

* * *

There was a chorus of chattering and yowling. Most of the Clan had gathered to see Wintersnow test on the corpse.

"Silence," she screeched.

**Cynthia: ...  
Jade: ...**

Wintersnow sniffed at the corpse. She swabbed the area near the wound with a q-tip, and rubbed it on a petri dish. Carefully, she carried it back to her den. The crowd parted, letting her through. They were still whispering excitedly.

**Cynthia: You're not serious.  
Jade: *laughs really hard***

"I will have the test results in about an hour," Wintersnow announced before going back into her den.

* * *

Neptunestar paced anxiously outside of the medicine cat's den.

He spat, "Gah! When will she finish?!"

A few moments later, Wintersnow poked her head outside of the den.

"The test results are ready."

Neputnestar padded into the den, got face to face with Wintersnow, and cried, "Who did it, who did it?!"

Wintersnow pushed him away, and replied, "Someone with the gene WO26D killed him."

**Cynthia: I don't even know what that means.  
Jade: WTH? **

"How does that help?"

"WO26D is a mutation found on PAR1. It is linked to anomalies that can make the individual spawn wings, and is also thought to give them 'Sparkly Vampire Syndrome.' The only ones in our Clan who have this are Perfectpelt, Rareglimmer, and possibly Eclipsevenom."

"Well then, how are we supposed to tell who killed Pineappleleaf?!"

"Motives and more testing."

**Cynthia: *dies*  
Jade: What the hell is she talking about?**

After this, they buried and held vigil for Pineappleleaf.

* * *

Later on, Beautifulpaw found a bloodied tuft of Pineappleleaf's fur blowing in the wind. She pounced on it. Sniffing it, her eyes widened. She was right; her stepmother did murder Pineappleleaf!

**Cynthia: BEAUTIFULPAW! KEEP YOUR BLOODY NOSE OUT OF THIS AND STOP ACTING LIKE A DETECTIVE! YOU'RE JUST LUCKY!  
Jade: WE'RE UP ALL NIGHT TO GET LUCKY!**

She carried it back to the camp, handing it to Wintersnow.

Wintersnow asked, "What's this?"

"A tuft of Pineappleleaf's fur. It reeks of my stepmother."

**Cynthia: You bet.  
Jade: how do you know it's his fur?**

"Thanks. Here, I'll take it, and test more on it."

A few days later, Wintersnow got the results; Perfectpelt had killed Pineappleleaf.

Perfectpelt was killed, and Beautifulpaw received her warrior name, Beautifulfur, for uncovering her stepmother's evil plot and being the first to correctly accuse her of the murder.

**Cynthia: How was she killed? Did they have a battle with those cats? She's only been an apprentice for about 4 days!  
Jade: uh.. ok cool**


	5. Chocolate rain

**WARNING: This chapter includes suggestive themes.**

**Cynthia: Okay den.  
Jade: OKaai**

* * *

Beautifulfur trotted into SparkleClan camp, holding a pitiful shrew in her jaws. She flung it onto the massive fresh-kill pile. A gentle breeze ruffled Beautifulfur's face fur. She licked her paw, groomed her face, and glanced around.

There were cats sprawled out in the clearing. Most of them were basking in the sun, and some were sharing tongues. But there was one cat who stuck out to Beautifulfur.

Near the apprentices den was Kraftstorm curled up on a rock, sleeping in the warm light of the sun. His fur looked like the color of delicious macaroni in the light.

**Cynthia: Macaroni? Cheese macaroni?  
Jade: ok. **

"He looks so… kawaii like that," Beautifulfur thought, a smile forming on her face.

Approaching him, she licked his cheek.

**Cynthia: Wut...she hardly even knows that he likes her. ...  
Jade: OH no, Cats are saying Kawaii. STARKITS PROPHECY *faints***

Kraftstorm woke up with a start. "Huh?! Wha?" Looking to his side, he came face to face with Beautifulfur. Their faces were a mere mouse-length away.

Blushing, Kraftstorm asked, "What are you doing here Beautifulfur?"

Before she could answer, Neptunestar called the Clan for a ceremony.

**Cynthia: "couple gets interrupted" cliche.  
Jade: Isn't he going to say: "Beautifulfur, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" **

* * *

His dark blue fur puffed up in confidence, Neptunestar announced, "Cometpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and to protect and defend this Clan, even if it costs your life?"

"I promise."

"From this moment forward, you will now be known as Cometmagic, in honor of your divine powers of controlling rocks."

"Cometmagic! Cometmagic!"

**Cynthia: mmhmm.  
Jade: PARTY TIME! **

* * *

Beautifulfur and Kraftstorm continued to chat, even flirting heavily every now and then.

**Cynthia: i am trying very hard not to roll my eyes right now.  
Jade: ...**

Next thing they knew, it started to rain chocolate.

"His powers! Look at what they're doing," a rainbow furred cat cried.

**Cynthia: I have had quite enough of rainbow furred cats, thank you.  
Jade: YEAH! ITS RAINING CHOCOLATE! **

Everyone whipped out some cups, and held them to the sky, watching with glee as they filled up, before taking a huge chug.

Neptunestar laughed, "Morningface and Isabellalover! Get the music out!"

A tortoiseshell and a bright pink cat pushed a DJ table into the clearing. The tortoiseshell started to play tracks on the DJ table, while everyone else started dancing and chugging down mugs of chocolate.

"WOOOOO!" Neptunestar screeched as he leaped into the clearing.

**Cynthia: You all high.  
JADE: WHOOOOOOOO! **

* * *

The party had gone absolutely wild. Near the nursery, Starwater and Rainymonday were having a drinking contest. A crowd had gathered, and cheers of "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" could be heard.

**Cynthia: wtf.  
Jade: HAHA! I VOTE FOR RAINYMONDAY BECAUSE STARWATER SOUNDS TOO MUCH LIKE STARGLEAM! **

At the Rock of Awesomeness, everyone was dancing to a remixed version of mrweebl's "Narwhals". Christmaspaw was especially getting a lot of attention with her epic break dancing.

Wintersnow and Rainpaw, her new apprentice, were collecting jugs of chocolate.

"Didn't you say that this chocolate has medical possibilities?" Rainpaw inquired.

**Cynthia: Harry Potter enters.  
Jade: THIS IS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!**

"Yes, it may. I'm not so sure, so we should study it as much as possible," Wintersnow replied, pouring a jug of it into a container and screwing the cap on firmly.

* * *

Beautifulfur was in an drunken stupor.

**Cynthia: ...  
Jade: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

She slowly and elegantly sauntered for the camp entrance.

As she headed out, she turned and flicked the tip of her tail against Kraftstorm's cheek every so softly, to catch his attention.

It worked.

He turned to look at her, a confused look in his deep blue eyes.

She winked at him, a look of 'you know you want it' flashing in her pretty rainbow eyes.

**Cynthia: Want it? I do not want to look at the next few lines.  
Jade: Uhh... I...Don't think I want to read whats next...**

Kraftstorm smirked. He dumbly followed her; for he too was in a drunken stupor.

As he left the camp, Kraftstorm's train of drunken thought was: "Oh yea! Smooch City, here I come!"

* * *

Beautifulfur purred, her tail wrapped around Topazeyes's .

Her trick had worked, and she had managed to get it from four other toms.

**Cynthia: Get what?  
Jade: Huh? **

She wasn't the least bit concerned about anyone finding out. They wouldn't.

"Everyone's so drunk, they hadn't noticed. So I'm safe," she thought dreamily.

* * *

**Gee, Beautifulfur sure is promiscuous, isn't she? And to think that had happened in the original fic. (Well, not the party.)**

**Cynthia: So damn promiscuous.  
Jade: Yeah, I agree**

**Sorry this chapter was so short.**

**-cough- Anyways, thanks, and R&R.**

**Cynthia: ;)  
Jade: This is getting really interesting**


	6. Fiery balls of gas

**Heheh... hope you guys enjoy the chapter!**

**(Oh, and Rain? I can't give out the link until we get to a certain chapter. It'd count as a spoiler for this fic.)**

* * *

Beautifulfur lay down in the sunlight, absorbing the lovely warmth of the fiery ball of gas.

**Cynthia: Her farts.  
Jade: HAHA **

Yesterday, SparkleClan had gotten the awful news of Neptunestar's permanent death after the last border skirmish. He had lost his last life to a recently apprenticed cat. While it had been a shock to the Clan, Beautifulfur was excited that her mate, Krafstorm, was going to be leader. She happily thought about how she'd be at celebrity status.

"If I only weren't so fat," she thought with bitterness.

She closed her eyes, and basked in the sunlight.

"Ha ha! Hi fatty!" a voice jeered.

Angrily, Beautifulfur got up and glared at the cat. A young brown and white cat was staring back at her, blue eyes gleaming with amusement. It was only Skyrock's kit, Deerpaw, now an apprentice like his sisters.

"I think you're gonna need a medicine cat," he commented in an innocent voice.

**Cynthia: Damn right you are.  
Jade: Haha, I think she's pregnant **

Beautifulfur growled, before snapping, "Shut it, Deerpaw! Go bother someone else!"

She reached out to clout his ear, but he jumped back. "Okay, okay! Sheesh."

The apprentice ran off. Beautifulfur watched as he bounded over to tease Dandelionbutterfly for her name. The white she-cat sighed wistfully.

"_Maybe I _do_ need to get on Weight Watchers."_

**Cynthia: *snicker*  
Jade: *chuckles***

She got up and padded to the medicine cat's den.

* * *

Poking her head inside the den, she saw Starwater putting a herbal poultice on Darkheart's shoulder. Zombiepaw was sorting herbs.

Glancing at Beautifulfur, she said to Starwater, "Starwater! Someone's here."

"Come finish this poultice for me then."

"Sure."

The green cat raced over to Darkheart. Starwater approached Beautifulfur.

"Yes?" The sparkly, silver she-cat inquired kindly.

"Can you prescript me one of your diets?"

**Cynthia: No, ****because Cyndiwaffles says so.  
Jade: And so do Jadeycookies**

Starwater gave the she-cat one look, before telling her, "I think you'd better have an exam first."

She led her to a crack in the north eastern corner of the den, and slipped into a crack. Confused, but desperate, Beautifulfur followed her in. Shock leaped onto Beautifulfur's face as she emerged at the other end. They were now in a hallway that seemed to go on forever. It was colored in shades of white. Dull cinnamon colored doors lined the hall, and a shiny golden door plaque was on each one.

"You have this?!" Beautifulfur cried.

**Cynthia: You dolt.  
Jade: I'm really confused**

"Where else do you think Wintersnow keeps her equipment?"

They continued to walk in silence until Starwater stopped at a door that was labeled 'Exam Room 05'.

Beautifulfur noticed that the door had a key pad.

As the medicine cat punched in the code, Beautifulfur asked, "Is this the only door to have a keypad?"

"No. All of the doors have this."

"Oh."

A high-pitched beep pierced the air for a moment, and then the door swung open. Starwater led Beautifulfur into the room, and closed the door.

* * *

"Okay, I'm going to need you to stand here. Keep your head up and your spine straight."

"Like this?" The white she-cat positioned herself.

"No… more like a dog in one of those AKC contests where the judge examines the dog."

**Cynthia: HOW WOULD SHE EVEN KNOW WHAT AKC IS  
Jade: What is AKC? **

"Okay." Beautifulfur positioned her stance again.

"Yes. Keep it like that, okay?"

"I got it."

Starwater grabbed a retinoscope and held it three mouse lengths away from Beautifulfur's left eye. She turned it on, which activated the light. It shone brightly, and the white she-cat had to resist the urge to shut her eyes. The medicine cat looked into the glass bit for what seemed like forever, before saying, "Left eye looks good."

She did the same to the right eye, and said the same thing.

After getting her ears, fur, mouth, reflexes, lungs, and heart checked, Starwater led Beautifulfur to another room, where she got an ultrasound exam.

Once the procedure was done, Starwater handed the she-cat a book.

Beautifulfur looked at the cover. It was a drawing of a pregnant she-cat sitting. She had a thought bubble with a large question mark in it. The words 'What to expect when you're expecting' were on the upper half of the cover in big bold letters.

"Why would I need this?" the white she-cat said in confusion.

Starwater did a facepalm before retorting, "Take a wild guess."

Beautifulfur stared at the book cover, trying to figure out what the medicine cat meant. After a few moments, it hit her.

"I'M PREGNANT?!"

**Cynthia: idiot.  
Jade: TOLD YAH SO! **

"Yea, no duh."

**Cynthia: MAKE UP YOUR MIND, MED CAT  
Jade: HAHA. **

The white she-cat had a mortified look on her face, her rainbow eyes glinting with horror and shock.

"_But I took precautions! I'm pretty sure I even took birth control," _she thought, _"Oh, wait… that was actually aspirin."_

"I wasn't fat to begin with, was I?" the white she-cat asked.

"No."

Beautifulfur sighed with relief, but she was secretly scared.

"_Oh StarClan, don't let the Clan find out who their real fathers are… please don't…."_

**Cynthia: Oh we will.  
Jade LOL! **

* * *

**Beautifulfur: Oh come on! Why me?**

**Me: It's what you get for sleeping with five toms, dear.**

**Beautifulfur: Anyways, read and review guys!**

**Cynthia: lel.  
Jade: I KNEW IT! I COULD TELL WHAT THEY WERE PLANNING! **


	7. Ready to face motherhood? I think not

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**Cynthia: Kay ;)  
Jade: OF COURSE! **

* * *

Beautifulfur dragged herself to the nursery, her belly swollen with kits.

She'd received a lot of congratulations for her soon-to-be litter.

Kraftstar approached her, his deep blue eyes glinting with pride and possibly worry. He had become one broad-shouldered ever since he became leader.

The two cats rubbed muzzles. "How are you doing today, my sweetest?"

"I'm fine as always, my love."

**Cynthia: Since when have they been talking like this?  
Jade: AWWWWWWWH~**

"Please, do take care of yourself. You know how it bothers me when you romp around camp like that. I'm afraid it will affect the kits."

Beautifulfur purred with amusement, flicking her mate's ear with her tail, "Oh, my darling Kraftiestar-chan… I can't help it! I'm restless!"

"Look at you! You'll probably be kitting any time now. Most queens would've been confined to the nursery by now."

The white she-cat sighed. Kraftstar was right. Her awesome kawaiiness was not powerful enough to free her from the restrictive boundaries of a queen's life.

**Cynthia: Uh...YOU'RE NOT AWESOME?  
Jade: *gasps* **

"Exactly. So please go stay in the nursery until our kits are born," Kraftstar gave her a lick on the cheek, "That is an order, by the way."

**Cynthia: Yeah, thanks for pointing that out.  
Jade: Mm**

* * *

Beautifulfur trudged to the nursery. Settling in the comfy nest, she curled up.

She heard an angry hiss. Upon looking up, she saw a familiar looking Siamese she-cat, her long black tail lashing back and forth like a whip. A golden little crown rest upon her head, encrusted with shimmering red rubies. Of course, it was none other than Princesscrown, Beautifulfur's nemesis.

**Cynthia: Well SHE'S THE QUEEN THEN  
Jade: LOL!**

"Ah, so I see that you have _finally_ been confined to the nursery," Princesscrown purred mockingly.

"Yea, so I have. What's it to ya?"

"You think I wouldn't notice, didn't you?"

Beautifulfur let out a snort and rolled her eyes. "Honestly, stop acting like that. I haven't the slightest clue as to what you're hinting at."

Princesscrown let out an angry low-throated growl, and puffed up her fur. "Stop playing dumb! I know exactly what you did at Cometmagic's warrior ceremony!"

At that moment, Beautifulfur's heart leapt into her throat. She quivered. Had Princesscrown figured out her secret?

"You think I'm stupid? You think I didn't notice what you did to MY mate and Cometmagic?"

"Wha-what are you talking about?"

"You filthy wanton! Just as I suspected! You got laid with four toms, when you already have a mate! And you did it with Redflight, whom, I recall, is MY mate!"

**Cynthia: wanton lel.  
Jade: WHAT. **

Princesscrown let out a smirk, before continuing with her rant. "Your cats will most likely have more than one father," she laughed cruelly; "I must say the whole Clan would be delighted to hear the news!"

Beautifulfur sprang to her paws. "Don't you dare, Princesscrown, DON'T YOU DARE!"

"Oh, but I will, you idiot. I will. But, as long as you keep your…. philandering tendencies away from Redflight, this will be a special little secret, just between you and me."

**Cynthia: Philandering tendencies?  
Jade: PTTFF AHAHAHAHAHAHA**

Leaning into Beautifulfur's ear, she whispered, "We certainly wouldn't want to spoil it for the kits, now would we?_ My_ kits will need some playmates after all."

Throwing her head back, she let out a mad cackle before waltzing out of the nursery.

**Cynthi: WALTZING MATILDA WALTZING MATILDA  
Jade: YOU'LL COME A-WALTZING MATLIDA WITH MEE! **

* * *

As Beautifulfur carried the squirrel to the nursery, a spasm of pain rippled through her lower quarters. She dropped the squirrel and dragged herself to the bramble den as fast as her bloated pads could carry her.

Collapsing on the nearest nest, her mouth spewed out curse words loudly in the manner of a sailor as she started kitting. The commotion caught Colombiafoot's attention.

"Great StarClan!" he sputtered as he shifted from one paw to another, "St-stay right there! I'm going to get the medicine cats!"

As the brown tabby sped off, Beautifulfur screamed, "SOMEONE GET ME SOME ANTHESISA WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!"

Once the medicine cats arrived, everything else went smoothly.

* * *

"Three toms and two she-cats," Starwater purred.

"Thank StarClan that's over," Wintersnow said, "My ears are still ringing from her screaming."

"Zim zalaza bim!" Zombiepaw chanted, before she and the other medicine cats moonwalked out of the den while Michael Jackson's song _Smooth Criminal _played in the air momentarily.

**Cynthia: lel.  
Jade: Haha**

"Weird..." Beautifulfur thought.

**Cynthia: Yeah, you are weird.  
Jade: OOH I LOVE SMOOTH CRIMINAL! **

She looked at her new brood of kits.

One of them was the color of freshly squeezed orange juice. Another one was fluffy, white, and sparkled like Edward Cullen. The second youngest tom was also white, but he had large patches of dark red scattered all over his pelt. The youngest female was a striking jet-black color. The last kit was golden with black flecks.

"I will name this one Orangejuicekit, because she is the color of orange juice. Whatever that is," the rainbow eyed queen said, "The white, sparkly one will be called Sparklykit because he sparkles like a diamond. The red and white one will be called Patchkit because he has red patches of fur on his fur. This black one will be Jetkit, like the mineral jet, and the gold one will be Marblekit because that is self-explanatory."

**Cynthia: "Self Explanatory?" WHY..**

**Cynthia: And so Sparklykit became Edward Cullen.  
Jade: I...sure**

Beautifulfur smiled at the fact that she had named her kits without anyone's help.

**Cynthia: You're a dick to the leader.  
Jade: Ok. **

She was ready to face motherhood.

**Cynthia:huh. *not convinced*  
Jade: *not convinced either***


	8. Bad Mothers

Jetkit let out the scariest snarl she could manage as she pounced on her brother, Sparklykit, swiftly catching his fluffy tail in her jaws.

**Cynthia: :|  
Jade: I bet that snarl was reaaaaallllyyy scary *sarcasm intended* **

He was about to protest, when Orangejuicekit slammed into him, smashing his head into the warm pale sand.

**Cynthia: Any broken bones?  
Jade: Concussion? **

Marblekit knocked her over and began to batter the sides of her head. Soon, all of the kits were wrestling each other, not realizing how much damage they were dealing to one another.

**Cynthia: I knew it.  
Jade: ...**

Their mother, of course, didn't do a thing, because she was too busy gossiping to her friends, Valleyleaf and Roserose.

**Cynthia: Typical mothers.  
Jade: Good mothers**

It was not until Kraftstar had arrived from a hunting patrol did someone finally decide to go and break up the brutal fight between the kits. Bounding across the sandy clearing, Beautifulfur turned to look at him in confusion, before shrugging it off, and turning back to talk to her friends.

"Hey, stop it! Get away from each other right now," Kraftstar snapped as he separated the kits.

"Aww, but _daaaaaaaad_, we were just _playing_!" Patchkit protested in a whiny voice.

"Look at you," he snarled, "Your fur is a mess, Jetkit's ear is torn, Orangejuicekit is covered with bruises, Marblekit has TWO black eyes, and Sparklykit nearly got his brains bashed in! You call that playing?!"

**Cynthia: He sounds like the mother now.  
Jade: Lol. **

"Um... I guess?"

Kraftstar seethed in rage, before he shouted, "WRONG! Follow me, NOW."

**Cynthia: Hey, that was a ****guess. Calm yourself.  
Jade: Chillax dude. **

He scooped up as many of the kits as he could and marched to the medicine cat's den. The rest had to follow him, their tails tucked between their legs in shame.

* * *

The moon was bright in the sky, dousing the forest in a silver light. Not far from SparkleClan's camp was a huge oak tree, which had a rather funny smell to it. What is was, no one knew, much less wanted to find out or give it a name. It was a bit small, but a good place for secret conversations though.

"Kits will be kits," Beautifulfur said dismissively, as she shifted around trying to get comfortable.

"That's not the point, dear. The point is that you make for a terrible mother."

"But I make a good partner... don't I?" she purred slyly.

"Beautifulfur, stop doing that. I'm not in the mood. I'm pissed that you would let our kits, OUR KITS, "play" so roughly with each other. Starwater had to actually tend to their wounds for at least half of the day."

"You were there, weren't you?'

"Yes, but what if I wasn't? Who would then?"

"Dunno. Maybe someone else would have."

"Look, YOU are also the PARENT. YOU are the one supposed to be teaching our kits right from wrong. I can't do it by myself. You told me, my self, that you were ready for motherhood. But I'm starting to doubt that."

The two cats lied next to each other in cold silence. "I suppose you're right... I'll try to be the better parent from now on, I promise."

The orange tom purred. "Good."

**Cynthia: This should have ended in anger. Dammit.  
Jade: Just kill her already. **

* * *

The sun was slowly rising, the birds were chirping, and the air smelled like butterflies.

"Today is going to be perfect," Beautifulfur purred as she stretched, showing off her lean, elegant shape. "Nothing could possibly go wrong."

She didn't even get to walk outside of the warriors den, before she saw Bloodstar, leader of EvilClan, standing in the camp entrance.

**Cynthia: O_O  
Jade: Haha. **

"OH MY GLOB! EVILCLAN IS ATTACKIN' US," she screeched at the top of her lungs. This promptly woke everyone up.

**Cynthia: Not surprised.  
Jade: Glob. *slow claps* Good job. **

Everyone rushed out of their dens. Kraftstar pushed his way through the crowd, earning him some glares, until he was face to face with the black tom.

Bloodstar stared at the orange tom, his red eyes almost seeming to glow.

"Kraftstorm, I thought your warriors were more intelligent than this," he purred mockingly, "Surely you know by know that we're ShadowClan, right? Unlike your brainwashed Clan, we like to stick to the old traditions."

"Bloodstar," Kraftstar spat, "You have no right to do this."

"Of course I do, because I simply have the nerve to do so."

The stocky black tomcat bared his teeth. SparkleClan could only watch in horror as Bloodstar's canine teeth grew longer and sharper.

"He's a vampire," a SparkleClan cat cried.

**Cynthia: *gasp* that plot twist dou.  
Jade: Dun dun duuuuuuuun. **

"We all are," the ShadowClan leader hissed, "And your Clan is a threat to our very existence!"

Bloodstar let out a loud a blood curdling yowl, "SHADOWCLAN ATTACK!"

A swarm of vampire cats surged out of the bushy undergrowth they'd been hiding in, and made headway for the SparkleClan cats.

Beautifulfur let out a snarl as a lavender tomcat aimed at her, snapping his teeth like an angry fox. She ducked out of the way, and he landed with a thud on the ground. She whirled around and clawed at something, even though she had no idea on who it was.

The white she-cat purred as she heard a cat weep, "My eye! MY EYE!"

**Cynthia: wail*  
Jade: Purred?! WHAT?!**

Beautifulfur spun around to face a light blue tom. Although he was rather big, she figured it would be easy to get him. She ran and slashed at his flank, but the tom grabbed the dainty she-cat and flung her in the air like a piece of prey. Dust scattered as she got back up and let out a cough. She got a running start before she leaped onto his back, and began ripping out chunks of his fur. She thrashed his ears violently, and nearly laughed when blood began to spill out. Unfortunately, the tom rolled over on his back, effectively getting her off. He pinned her to the ground and started striking at her belly, when another cat ripped the massive tom off of her.

It was Kraftstar.

"OH NO! OUR KITS," Beautifulfur cried. She darted to the nursery. A black and white tom who had tried to break into the nursery was in a brutal fight with Princesscrown, even though she seemed to have the upper hand.

**Cynthia: Upper hand?  
Jade: Oh nose. **

"NO!"

The white she-cat tried to attack him, but he was too big. Turning around, he smacked her square in the face. Pain throbbed in her facial area, suddenly feeling sensitive. Beautifulfur felt sick and wobbly. She fell to the ground as everything around her faded into darkness.

**Cynthia: Of course it's sensitive! You think she's not?  
Jade: YES! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! **

* * *

Beautifulfur woke up. Her face was still sore. The first thing she noticed was how cool the air felt. It was also rather dark.

"Wintersnow, I think she's awake," a familiar voice said.

"Z-zombiepaw?"

Beautifulfur heard some hushed whispers, before Wintersnow approached her.

As the white she-cat sat up, she groaned and put a paw to her head. "Wha-wha happened?"

"ShadowClan battled us into submission."

"Are my kits alright? What about my mate?"

"I-I'm sorry, Beautifulfur, but they took your kits."

**Cynthia: lol how.  
Jade: DAMMIT! SHE DIDN'T DIE**

* * *

**OH SNAP BRAH!**

**I'm going to give out the link to the original Beautiful Sparkle in the next chapter, as we are close to** **the part where the original one ends.**


End file.
